Tonight, I'm resigned.
Hello. It’s been awhile.
Life has been so overwhelming lately. It's like one thing after another, and I'm barely keeping up. I feel like I'm constantly drowning, and it's hard to breathe.
I wake up in the morning feeling exhausted, but I can't afford to rest. I have to get up and go, even if I don't have the energy. I have to work, pay bills, take care of my responsibilities.
But it's not just the physical demands of life that are overwhelming me. It's also the emotional and mental demands. I'm constantly worried about the future, about my loved ones, about the world. I feel like I'm constantly carrying a heavy weight on my shoulders.
And then there are the unexpected events, the things that come out of nowhere and knock me off my feet. A health scare, a family crisis. These things can be devastating, and they can make it even harder to stay afloat.
On most nights, I feel like I'm barely breathing. I lie in bed, my chest tight, my mind racing. I worry about everything that could go wrong, and I feel like I'm going to be crushed by the weight of it all.
I've tried to stay positive. I've tried to find the silver lining in every cloud. But tonight, I'm resigned. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of trying to keep my head above water.
I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if I'll ever be able to catch my breath. But for tonight, I'm going to let myself be resigned.
I'm going to let myself feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I'm going to let myself cry. I'm going to let myself grieve.
And tomorrow, I'll try again.